How To Become a True Listener
in a Negotiation by Steve Schappert
Becoming a true listener in a negotiation is essential for understanding the other party’s perspective, building rapport, and finding mutually beneficial solutions. Active listening can help you uncover underlying interests, address concerns, and create a positive atmosphere for productive negotiations. Here’s how you can become a true listener during a negotiation:
- Be Fully Present: Give your complete attention to the conversation. Put away distractions, such as phones or laptops, and focus on the person speaking. This demonstrates your respect and interest in what they have to say.
- Maintain Eye Contact: Maintain appropriate eye contact to show that you are engaged and attentive. It also helps you pick up on nonverbal cues and emotions.
- Avoid Interrupting: Allow the other party to speak without interruption. Wait for them to finish their thoughts before responding. Interrupting can hinder the flow of communication and convey a lack of respect.
- Show Empathy: Try to understand the emotions and perspectives behind the words. Reflect their feelings by using phrases like, “I can see why you might feel that way” or “It sounds like this is important to you.”
- Ask Open-Ended Questions: Encourage the other party to share more by asking open-ended questions. These questions cannot be answered with a simple “yes” or “no” and encourage a more detailed response.
- Paraphrase and Summarize: Periodically paraphrase or summarize what the other party has said. This not only demonstrates that you’re listening but also helps ensure you’ve accurately understood their points.
- Use Verbal and Nonverbal Affirmations: Nodding, smiling, and using verbal cues like “I understand” or “I see what you mean” show that you’re actively engaged and following the conversation.
- Avoid Jumping to Conclusions: Don’t make assumptions or form judgments prematurely. Allow the other party to fully express themselves before forming an opinion.
- Practice Active Body Language: Your body language should convey your attentiveness. Lean slightly forward, avoid crossing your arms, and use gestures that show you’re engaged in the conversation.
- Pause Before Responding: Take a moment to process what the other party has said before responding. This prevents hasty reactions and shows that you’re considering their perspective.
- Manage Your Own Agenda: Put aside your own thoughts and agenda while the other party is speaking. Your primary focus should be on understanding their viewpoint, needs, and concerns.
- Clarify and Seek Clarification: If something is unclear, ask for clarification. Likewise, encourage the other party to seek clarification if needed. Clear communication ensures everyone is on the same page.
- Practice Reflective Listening: Reflect back what you’ve heard to confirm your understanding. For example, you might say, “If I understand correctly, you’re saying…”
- Be Patient: Sometimes, people need time to gather their thoughts or express themselves. Allow pauses and moments of silence without rushing to fill the void.
- Leave Your Ego Aside: Effective listening requires humility and a willingness to consider other viewpoints. Put your ego aside and approach the conversation with an open mind.
By becoming an attentive and empathetic listener in negotiations, you can create a conducive environment for open communication, build trust, and increase the likelihood of reaching a mutually beneficial agreement.
